‘I watch, waiting to see that spark of humanity that is in all of us.”
The above is a paraphrased quote from a film currently on release in the UK, As Good As It Gets. For me, it describes an aspect of the counselling process that takes place in Islamic counselling as well as other forms of counselling based on a spiritual path or model of counselling routed in an understanding of the health and ability of the human being. It is the process of seeing the person, seeing beyond the presenting problem or the identified pattern or inability. It is seeing the human being within their true capacity and ability – in their God given light. This is incumbent on any counsellor who is working with knowledge of the relationship between themselves as a human being, their environment (human and otherwise) and their source of existence.
The quest for understanding of the self and its relationships with creation and the Creator again are not unique to Islamic counselling. In fact it is not unique to counselling or any of the current practices of counselling and therapy. This is a common theme for many people, pursued in many different ways, in which the tangible and intangible often meet. This is a quest for meaning that crosses both belief and thinking. People are looking for meaning, otherwise there wouldn’t be much need for therapy and counselling; otherwise there wouldn’t be a call for faith or religion as well as many other things in life.
‘He who knows himself knows his lord.’
Islamic counselling is based on the study or science of the self (the nafs-self., nafsiyat-science of the self. arabic). But it also goes beyond the study of the self to worship; the context of meaning in its absolute form being not limited to the actions of an individual but existing in the relationships between the person, their world and the reason for existence itself
The above saying of Prophet Muhammed is indicative of the imperfection of the human state in comparison to divine perfection. It is through our appreciation of our shortcomings in all the best and worst of ourselves and the desire for more than that, that we gain understanding of our relationship with the Absolute. The word in Arabic for Lord contains within it the word for bringing one to one’s full potential and nurturing. Self-knowledge is therefore central to Islamic counselling. The development of an understanding of the self enables the person in the quest for meaning not just in relation to the apparent meaning say in relation to understanding and working with their response to a bereavement; but with regard to the greater significance behind it. It is through our ‘selves’ that we are able to interpret all things in every possible level of meaning.
Consider the human self and how it is formed in accordance with what it is meant to be.
And how it is imbued with the consciousness of God. 91:7-8 Quran)
Islamic counselling is about seeing the person in their God given potential, uplifting or inspiring through assisting them to see this for themselves and working with them to see the meaning of the situation that they are in and their actions within it. By working in this way, a person is able to see themselves all that they can be and is then enabled to act on that. In working with meaning and the will in people to perfection, Islamic counselling is about the best in people, the discovery and re-discovery of the humanity within us, that spark that is life, the aspect of us that is closest to the divine. This ongoing conscious practice in itself is the dedication of actions to the divine known in Islam as ibadat or simply worship.
Islamic counselling is a transformative process that comes from the fact that we all come from one self and in our differences and similarities are able to truly see each other. This ‘seeing’ starts with the counsellor.
‘A man does not seek to see himself in running water but in still water. For only what is itself still can impart stillness to others.’ Chuang-tse The Wisdom of China and India.
The counsellor is a guide in working with the self in the knowledge that each one of us is the interaction between that which is best and its opposite. In fact much of the dynamics of Islamic counselling is specifically about the relationship of oppositions. The value of the counsellor is not the fact that they have experienced similar situations to the people who seek their assistance but that they have gained a greater understanding of the self. This understanding is subtle and has often been referred to as removing the veils from the heart, for the fact that it brings into question not only what we know of ourselves but our attitudes and intentions and actions. The implication of this is that the Islamic counsellor will not be able to ‘see’ unless they have worked with their own ego and the motivation in such a way that the counsellor can be humble enough to be of service. The counsellor must actively be working to his or her own self knowledge. The process of counselling is at once both generous (based on giving without expectations) and selfish (for if counselling is a service, it is in the knowledge that in serving we are served).
This ability comes from the first concept and most central concept within Islam Tauhid – unity. There is no God but Allah. This does not mean that the only God is the Muslim God, but that there is One Creator, One Source, One Absolute, One God. One of the things that this statement means is that everything is interconnected, that although we don’t always see it the laws of cause and effect are in effect. In the Quran, Allah tells us that we will never find change in the way of Allah. One of its meanings is that everything comes back to the ultimate source, and through Allah everything has meaning and harmony. It means cosmos, not chaos. In terms of the self, the social self, the psychological self, the political self flow one into the other, so long as we refer to that inner unchanging quality within. In Islam, as in most spiritual paths, human beings are described as the as dogs. This doesn’t mean that the earthly side is looked down on but that our interactions in life are about duality (oppositions). It is this which gives us choice but our deeper yeamings are for the divine. This means that we work holistically and that we aim to enhance the search for harmony. Islamic counsellors hence may take on a multifaceted role in that they provide advice, information, advocacy, consultancy, counselling – body, mind, soul working with the interpersonal at a social and/or political level.
Yet in the light of Tauhid, Islamic counselling cannot be described discreetly. It is about freeing the spark of humanity, letting go of patterns and attachments including to the counsellor and/or the process.
It also means that in this freedom we work on the premise that change in the individual can and does change their entire world. In the Quran, Allah tells us:
‘That is because Allah never changes the grace He has bestowed upon any people until they first change that which is in their souls and that is because Allah is Hearer, Knower.
(8:53)
It is perhaps our individualistic naïve perception of Tauhid Unity that leads us to see ourselves often as the centre of our own worlds. Though this perspective is limited, it is of great significance. Because of our unific/ holistic nature, we respond optimally to counselling which incorporates change as well as awareness, action as well as self-discovery. This means that an Islamic counsellor will work with a person to create behavioural change. Correctly focused action in essence is the meaning of the second half of the statement Laillah ha illallah, mohammedan rasoolillah, the way of Muhammed, the emulation of the actions of an inspired Prophet.
The process of change within Islamic counselling recognises the interplay of a number of integral aspects of the self. In one respect the self can be seen as the soul divine and permanent. Though it is this it is also the wider meeting space of our personalities, emotions, thoughts and desires. Within the Islamic school of thought the soul the seat of all of our knowledge of correct action is found within a healthy heart. When the heart is healthy it is free and unattached, served by the intellect and master of emotions. A self that is so governed acts in a balanced way, a way that can be described as virtuous. Acting in a way that is virtuous can best be described as acting with the correct courtesy with regard to the situation with respect to oneself and others, one’s environment and one’s lord. When people act in this way, the self is not agitatated because one is acting in the knowledge that one has behaved in the best way possible.
Having identified the objective of balanced action, the work takes place within the reality of that person’s own experience of themselves and their imbalances. A healthy heart allows the mind or intellect to carry out the problem solving of everyday living while maintaining focus on the person’s development. A person in balance uses their external and internal senses to act correctly. The person is able to witness themselves and their actions in an objective way. They are neither driven by extremes of attraction or repulsion. Conversely, when the heart is unhealthy in certain situations, the person becomes driven, their actions are not balanced and they are unable to witness themselves.
It is these testing situations that are indicative of our strengths and weaknesses. Our weaknesses are apparent in our limitations and our strengths in the desire of the self to be in balance. Afflictions enable us to grow. The Arabic word for affliction is adhab’, which also means sweetening. It is at this point that the counsellor must be able to acknowledge the affliction but not be bound by it. They support the person by focusing on the higher both in terms of meaning and in terms of the fuller picture of that person’s true self whilst working with them to contain and transform the lower aspects of the situation. In doing this, the counsellor will often be working with the inner senses, i.e:
· al hiss mushtarak – the faculty of common or unifying sense. This allows us to bring together in a cogent and sensible form our perceptions derived from both internal and external senses of a given thing or situation.
· khayal – the faculty of imagination. It enables us to imagine different forms and formats of things and to place these into different contexts. It enables visualisation and conception and is the key to belief.
· wahm – the faculty of attributing meaning or value to something. This can therefore be the source of delusions, misinterpretations. It is the capacity that connects the intellect with the faculty of imagination.
· hafidhy – the faculty of memory.
· mutafakkira – the faculty of reflection.
These need to be constantly examined and kept lucid.
‘The main purpose of all these inner faculties is to help us relate to our constantly changing world. If our common sense is in a healthy state, our faculty for imagination is reliable, our ability to place values on forms is sound and flexible and our reservoir of information and memories from the past are constantly updated. We may then reflect
in an efficient way. Then, too, our affairs will be spontaneously put in order. We will merely have to listen for an inspirational signal to sound in our hearts and will know the most appropriate course of action to take. But all of this cannot be confined to an intellectual exercise; it needs to be acted upon for it to be of any use.’
Cosmology of the Self by Shaykh Fahialla Haeri.
Every correct action or virtue is at the centre of a spectrum of behaviours or actions with negative consequences. The process of examination of the inner senses is a continuous one. It is easy for the heart to become unhealthy and in doing so become attached, if not to a perception of the self then to certain feelings or thoughts, old patterns. This can often lead to doubt or denial which prevents the self from reaching its full potential or hypocrisy which is the inability of the self to square its divine yeamings with its own mundane limitations. This leads to a hardened heart which is therefore not fully available to the essence, the spark of life. The counsellor enables the person to work with this through the process of the greater jihad, the battle with one’s self by taking the person to the opposite of their pattern so arriving at the centre point.
Often the counsellor will be of assistance simply in the action of being a witness reflecting back, a clear mirror of the person’s truth. However, intrinsic to this is the quality of compassion. Unless people feel that the reflection back is given with unconditional love, the message becomes distorted. The way in which the counsellor is able to provide this is based on two things. Firstly, the counsellor’s own courtesy based on his or her actions within the boundaries of correct action. This is often considered as courtesy at the most obvious level. Secondly, because of the counsellor’s humility which arises from structured practices designed to remind them that we all come from one self, that the client’s ‘problem’ is one which could have been theirs and indeed that ultimately the labels of counsellor and client are meaningless.
The process of Islamic counselling, though practised for centuries, has only in the recent past been defined in the context of therapeutic intervention. Historically the science of the self was taught to individuals by a person who had mastered the same in the form of an apprenticeship forming ‘silsila’, of golden chains going all the way back to the Prophet Muhammed. Until 1995, the process continued here in the same way. A number of us have been taught by such a person and we were given permission to teach Islamic counselling (though this does not make any of us part of the silsila).
Islamic counselling has been taught on Foundation Courses for two years and has been practised for many years in organisations such as the Muslim Women’s Helpline. Approximately one year ago, An Nisa, a Muslim community organisation, comiitted themselves to facilitating the development of a certificate course in Islamic counselling and gained funding from the Mental Health Foundation to support this venture. CPCAB, the accrediting body, had the foresight to validate what has now become the first independently certificated Islamic Counselling Course. The course has now completed its first two terms at BACES College in Brent.
References:
As Good As It Gets, released by Tristar Pictures 1998.
The Journey of the Se@, Shaykh Fadhlalla Haeri 1989.
The Quran
The Wisdom of China and India, Chuang-tse
Sufi Cosmology of the Se@, Shaykh Fadhlalla Haeri 1993
Abdullah Maynard©