Christmas approaches and it is impossible to ignore the spangly party atmosphere. For Muslims who live in non-Muslim countries, the season of good will presents many challenges, says Sabnum Dharansi
I have come across many different attitudes to Christmas, and so I decided to take a closer look at the way we do things, in the hope of finding a way to get through the festive season unscathed! First of all here is a slightly tongue-in-cheek guide to some of the attitudes we adopt over Yuletide. 1)
1) AGAINST: There are many Muslims who bunker down, deciding perhaps that nothing useful can be got from the outside world at this time. Some aspects of Christmas can assault or even offend our Islamic sense of sobriety. People around us are planning on overeating, over-indulging, drinking to excess and dressing in immodest or undignified ways. In response, Muslims develop a hyper-awareness of the outsider and take a strong dislike to the rampant materialism and frivolity. You may even spearhead a Facebook campaign about Xmas being an absurd waste of money, and find yourself shouting loudly at largely disinterested people about the huge amounts of debt that people get into, not to mention the ecological damage wrought by tonnes of excess packaging.
2) FOMO: Fear of missing out. for some of us, there is a lot more ambivalence. Perhaps it is something that one doesn’t feel entirely comfortable about, but the energy that surrounds Christmas can be quite overwhelming. It looks fun, and everyone seems to be having a great time. You would love to be a part of it, but you realise you can’t be. If you have kids, maybe you’ll indulge them a bit, but really you would love to have your own excuse to go out, dress up, laugh irrationally loudly, sing songs and make merry. Even if you were invited, you’d still be different, and lack the confidence that comes from Christmas being something you’ve practised, rather than just observed. And it may lead to situations in which you would feel guilty or compromised So you are holed up at home, an outsider and excluded.
3) JOIN IN: So perhaps you’ve given up on wanting, and have gone for it. FM many Muslims, Islam is not so much a religious as a cultural identity, and only a part of that identity. So although you might not share this with family elders, you feel comfortable with going to the parties, doing the countdown shopping, playing charades and maybe
Canterbury. It can be quite nice too, to compare the tone of sacred festivities in Islam and Christianity, and find differences and similarities between our Eids and Christmas: we all overeat, we all have lovely rituals, Eid is less commercialised and more sacred, Christians have more fun etc. But where do you draw the line? You believe in live and let live, but you’re really not sure about your child being in the school nativity play.
5) FORBIDDEN: Some Muslims feel that Christmas is firmly un-Islamic on religious grounds. They will often be aware of the historical origins of Christmas and how many of the symbols of Christmas (Christmas tree, decorations, Santa] are not part of early Christian religious tradition, but are pagan elements that have been grafted on. They often withdraw children from the last week of school so they are protected from the Christmas hype and don’t feel they’re missing out. They may be charitable givers, aware of Islam’s association with modesty, but also feel strongly that celebrating Christmas is to participate in the false idea that Jesus) is the son of God. They will often be critical of other Muslims above. One of the key things that strikes me is that we all have multiple identities, and often these clash with each other. Just as it’s hard to be both a perfect son and perfect husband, especially in the same house, it’s hard to be both Muslim and British, especially as our own understandings of these are constantly changing, both at an individual and societal level. And we also all have contradictions within ourselves. Particularly in respect of religion, it can be extremely hard to know and accept where we are in relation to it; on the one hand we understand that this is meant to be a priority in our lives, but we may not always feel it inside. On the other hand we may be extremely religious on the outside, but that may also mask a fear that our hold on our faith identity is more fragile than we project.
So what to do? God tells us “O mankind! We created you from a single [pair] of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise [each other]. Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is [he who is] the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted [with all things].” (Qur’an 49:13)
I believe that the clashing of beliefs and cultures, so evident Christmas season, challenges us to explore self-concepts and intentions more closely.
Working out who we are and how we are go together. Indeed, Islam is a way of life, and God has decreed not only the times that we live in, but also where we live. He created us to inhabit a world of hardship, “Verily
We have created man into toil and struggle.”(90:4)
So it’s incumbent on each of us to work out how to be Muslim in the time and place in which we find ourselves. In a way Islam – submission – means working out what it means to be Muslim in this day and age and this place. For each of us Xmas is a bit like being a Muslim who drives a taxi on a Saturday night.
You are in it but not of it. The question is whether we conduct ourselves with compassion, with mercy, with understanding, with discernment, or whether we are judgmental towards others?
Perhaps it isn’t about whether we are in or out, but about our niyyah (intention), and how that is manifested in our
actions. The question of how we conduct ourselves is particularly salient when applied to those who are more vulnerable. For example, take new converts who want and need to be more open to other established Muslims. I find that often those who’ve been brought up as Muslims can be quite harsh about converts participating in Christmas with their families, forgetting that Christmas is a huge test for them. Similarly, with young people, adults often forget how essential a part of a young person’s development it is to make friends, to not be too different, to form their own social networks and to experiment.
Christmas is a huge test for them too, and adults can be part of creating an overly rigid and therefore dismissive response to their needs rather than understanding them.
There are often no clear-cut answers to how to respond to challenges, but what is important is to foster joy
and zest for living in our children, to develop nurturing environments where possible so that not only do they have the capacity and confidence to make mature choices, but also so that they associate spirituality with joy.
Perhaps the most important lifelearning for Muslims and Christians alike is being compelled to engage with diverse perceptions and values through which we are also encouraged to disidentify with the narrowness of our
concepts, and respond to the deeper truth of who we are. spirituality with joy. Perhaps the most important life-learning for Muslims and Christians alike is being compelled to engage with diverse perceptions and values through which we are also encouraged to dis-identify with the narrowness of our concepts, and respond to the deeper truth of who we are.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear’. New Testament 2 John, iv. 28)
Each man’s work will become manifest! (New Testament 2 Corinthians iii.
The true servants of the Most Merciful are those who behave gently and with humility on earth, and whenever the foolish quarrel with them, they reply with !words oft peace! (Qur’an 25: 63)
`And follow that which is revealed to you, and be patient until Allah issues alis1 judgement, and He is the best of judges’. (Qur’an 20:209)